Meet Your ANTs: Recognizing and Challenging Automatic Negative Thoughts
In California, we have these tiny little black ants — probably the same kind that show up just about everywhere. They’re small, persistent, and hard to fully get rid of.
When I was in college, I had an apartment that was constantly invaded by them. Every time I came home from class, there’d be a new trail winding in from some unseen crack in the wall. I’d hunt down the source, clean everything up, and feel like I’d finally solved the problem… only to come back the next day and find another line of the same little ants marching in from a different direction.
Our Automatic Negative Thoughts (ANTs) — those intrusive, looping mental patterns that pop up uninvited — work a lot like that. They sneak in through cracks we didn’t even realize were there, multiply quickly, and make themselves at home. Left unchecked, they can affect our mood, behavior, and beliefs until it feels like our mind has been overrun by noise, inner conflict, and doubt.
In this article, Matt Johnson — Clarity Coach and Associate Marriage and Family Therapist (142969) — will help you notice those thoughts early, uncover what they’re really trying to say, and, most importantly, discover how to squash the ANTs before they take over.
What are Automatic Negative Thoughts?
After I failed my first clinical exam attempt to become a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist by just a few points, those same ANTs started whispering: “Maybe you’re not good enough.” “You’ll fail again.” “Did you notice that everyone else in your study group passed?” Before long, even finding the motivation or hope to open the study materials again felt impossible.
Our ANTs are fast, emotionally charged, and tend to show up when we’re most vulnerable — often before reason has a chance to step in. That’s why recognizing and naming them matters. Once we can identify a thought as an Automatic Negative Thought, we create space to slow down, check the facts, and choose a wise response instead of an ineffective reaction.
Meet Your Ants
Automatic Negative Thoughts come in many flavors. In my work with clients—and in my own life—I’ve noticed a few that love to show up uninvited. These are the little mental “ants” that sneak in when we’re tired, stressed, or doubting ourselves. Naming them is the first step toward keeping them from taking over.
All-or-Nothing Ant
This ANT only sees extremes—everything’s either a total success or a complete failure, with no middle ground.
“If it’s not perfect, it’s a total failure.”
It loves to whisper that “almost” doesn’t count. The truth? Progress and perfection are not the same thing—growth happens in the gray areas.
Blaming Ant
This one loves to point fingers—sometimes at others, sometimes straight back at you.
“It’s all their fault… or all mine.”
It oversimplifies messy situations into blame instead of balance. Recognizing this ANT reminds us that life usually has more than one cause and more than one solution.
Comparing Ant
Always measuring your worth against someone else’s highlight reel.
“They’re better, so I must not be good enough.”
This ANT forgets that everyone’s timeline and terrain are different. It feeds off envy and self-criticism but shrinks fast when we practice gratitude and focus on growth.
Emotional Ant
This one confuses feelings with facts—if it feels bad, it must be bad.
“Because I feel it, it must be true.”
It forgets that emotions are signals, not instructions. Feelings can inform us, but they don’t have to control what we do next.
Fairy Ant
The Fairy Ant believes life should always be fair—and gets upset when it isn’t.
“Life should always be fair—or else it’s wrong.”
Ironically, the moments that feel most unfair often teach us the most about grace, humility, and endurance.
Fortune-Telling Ant
This ANT thinks it can predict the future—and it’s rarely good news.
“I just know it’s going to turn out badly.”
When we test this ANT’s “predictions” against reality, it usually fails the test. Hope grows stronger every time we catch it being wrong.
If-Only Ant
Convinces you that happiness is waiting on something else to happen.
“I’ll be happy when ___ happens.”
This ANT lives in tomorrow and misses today. Real contentment starts with noticing what’s already here.
Labeling Ant
Loves to slap sticky labels on everything—including you.
“One mistake means I’m a loser.”
It turns single moments into lifelong verdicts. When we replace labels with actions (“I failed this time” instead of “I’m a failure”), we reclaim our power to grow.
Mind-Reading Ant
Convinced it knows what others are thinking—and it’s usually not good.
“I know exactly what they’re thinking about me.”
This ANT acts like a psychic, but it’s often just fear in disguise. Asking instead of assuming keeps connection open and anxiety down.
Just-the-Bad Ant
This one loves to zoom in on the negative and blur out everything positive.
“Forget the good—I can only see the bad.”
It’s the ANT that steals joy by shrinking your focus. Balance it out by naming two things that are still good or neutral.
Guilt-Beating Ant
This ANT marches to a harsh drumbeat of “should,” “must,” and “have to.”
“I should, I must, I have to… or else I’m awful.”
Replacing “should” with “could” opens the door to choice and grace. You don’t need guilt to grow.
Self-Righteous Ant
This ANT insists on being right, even if it means being alone.
“I’m right, you’re wrong—end of story.”
It thrives on control, not connection. But softening into curiosity (“Help me understand…”) builds bridges where walls once stood.
Each of these is a type of Automatic Negative Thought. They’re not facts—they’re interpretations, often wrapped in half-truths that sound convincing when we’re tired or triggered. The trick is to notice the pattern early, name it for what it is, and remember: you’re not your thoughts. You’re the observer who can choose what stays and what goes.
Why Automatic Negative Thoughts Matter: The Cost of Letting Them Run
Unchecked ANTs are more than just mental noise—they shape how we see ourselves, how we show up, and how we move through the world. When left to crawl around your daily thoughts unchecked, these ANTs start to change your beliefs and behaviors in ways that quietly sabotage your growth and connection.
ANTs can:
Sabotage motivation. After failing my licensing exam, I didn’t open my study materials for over 90 days—not because I didn’t care, but because I feared failing again.
Fuel avoidance. We delay the hard conversations, the workouts, or the study sessions—not out of laziness, but because our ANTs convince us it’s safer to stay still.
Amplify anxiety and depression. ANTs train our brains to scan for threat, keeping our attention locked on danger or the problem instead of possibility and solutions.
Undermine relationships. When we assume the worst—about ourselves or others—we start reacting to fears instead of reality.
When our nervous system gets flooded by these thoughts, reasoning shuts down. The brain switches from problem-solving to self-protection, and before long, we’re running from a threat that isn’t even there. That’s why it’s so important to have simple, reliable tools to help us slow down, shift gears, and return to clear thinking.
The Four D’s: Practical Tools to Squash Automatic Negative Thoughts
When Automatic Negative Thoughts start circling, the Four D’s offer a stepwise, practical way to calm the storm: Delay, Distract, De-stress, and De-catastrophize. Use them first when you’re emotionally flooded; then, once you feel grounded again, return to the thought and evaluate it with a clearer mind. Huge thanks to Dr. Snipes for the insight and inspiration!
Delay: Give it 20 Minutes
Delay is simple but surprisingly powerful. Don’t make agreements with yourself in the first twenty minutes after an emotional spike.
When I wake up and my brain immediately floods with worry — “Where am I? Did I mess up?” — I give myself time. I make a cup of coffee, wait twenty minutes, and then check back in. More often than not, the thought has already lost its urgency.
Delay is a boundary for your thinking. It’s not avoidance; it’s containment — creating space for the emotional heat to cool so reason can return.
Distract: Shift Your Focus
Distraction isn’t denial; it’s a short, mindful shift. When thoughts get sticky, do something neutral or positive to redirect your focus:
Go for a short walk or do a household task.
Call a friend to say hello (not to rehash the worry).
Try a five-minute stretch or name five things you can see.
Start a small task that gives quick feedback — make your bed, wash a dish, water a plant.
The goal isn’t to bury feelings; it’s to reset your brain’s rhythm so you can return to the thought later with more clarity.
De-stress: Calm the Body to Calm the Mind
When Automatic Negative Thoughts get loud, your body often does too. The key is to quiet the nervous system so your thinking can follow.
Try these simple grounding tools:
Box breathing: Inhale for 4, hold for 4, exhale for 4, hold for 4 — repeat for 3–5 cycles.
Progressive muscle relaxation: Gently tense and release each muscle group, or do a light stretch.
Use calming aids: Guided breathing videos, the Calm app, or soft instrumental music.
When your body relaxes, your brain reopens access to perspective, patience, and problem-solving.
De-catastrophize: Challenge the Worst-Case Story
Breaking an imagined disaster into smaller, manageable pieces helps reduce its emotional power.
For example, when I failed my licensing exam, it felt like a final judgment. As someone with dyslexia, studying and test-taking have always required extra effort and patience. My Automatic Negative Thoughts quickly latched onto that story—“See, you’re just not cut out for this.”
De-catastrophizing sounded like this:
“Worst case: I don’t pass again. Can I handle that? Yes. I can study differently, get accommodations, and try once more. What’s the next helpful step? Schedule the retake, request an exam reader, and allow extra time.”
Naming and accepting my learning difference helped me separate my ability from my worth. Suddenly, the problem became a practical challenge, not a personal failure.
When we face our fears directly, we often find they’re not as catastrophic as they first appeared. And once we’re grounded again, we can use those same reframing skills to squash the other ANTs that try to overrun our thinking.
How to Squash Your ANT
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“If it’s not perfect, it’s a total failure.”
Practice noticing progress instead of perfection. Try saying, “This isn’t perfect, but it’s progress.” Make a list of partial wins or “gray-area” outcomes to remind your brain that improvement matters more than flawlessness.
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“It’s all their fault… or all mine.”
Balance accountability with compassion. When something goes wrong, write down all contributing factors—timing, environment, stress, and choices. Seeing the full picture turns blame into understanding.
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“They’re better, so I must not be good enough.”
Comparison steals energy from growth. Instead, ask, “What can I learn from what I admire in them?” Then refocus on gratitude for your own progress and unique strengths.
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“Because I feel it, it must be true.”
Feelings are signals, not facts. When emotions spike, ask, “What evidence supports this thought—and what evidence challenges it?” Let feelings inform you, not control you.
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“Life should always be fair—or else it’s wrong.”
Fairness isn’t guaranteed, but meaning can be found in every experience. When life feels unfair, ask, “What can I learn or give in this?” Reframing unfairness turns resentment into growth.
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“I just know it’s going to turn out badly.”
Test your predictions. Write them down and check the outcomes later. Seeing how often your fears don’t come true helps retrain your brain to expect balance instead of doom.
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“I’ll be happy when ___ happens.”
This ANT lives in “someday.” Bring it back to the present by asking, “What can I enjoy or appreciate right now?” Happiness is built in small, daily doses—not delayed conditions.
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“One mistake means I’m a loser.”
Use verbs, not nouns. Replace “I’m a failure” with “I failed this time.” This turns shame into a story of growth, not identity.
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“I know exactly what they’re thinking about me.”
Check your assumptions. Ask directly, or remind yourself, “I can’t know what they’re thinking without asking.” Curiosity creates connection; assumption breeds anxiety.
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“Forget the good—I can only see the bad.”
Balance the ledger. For every negative thought, name two neutral or positive truths. It retrains your attention to notice what’s working, not just what’s wrong.
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“I should, I must, I have to… or else I’m awful.”
Swap “should” for “could.” Say, “I could do this if it helps my values.” “Could” gives choice; “should” gives shame.
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“I’m right, you’re wrong—end of story.”
Connection matters more than being right. Ask, “Do I want to be correct, or do I want to stay connected?” Listening first often brings more peace than winning an argument.
Each of these is a way of de-catastrophizing life—turning exaggerated, self-defeating thoughts into something you can observe, question, and reshape. When you name the ANT, you take away its sting. And when you combine that awareness with the other D’s—Delay, Distract, and De-stress—you begin reclaiming calm, clarity, and choice.
If you’d like a simple, visual way to remember these tools, I’ve created a free “Meet Your ANTs” worksheet that lists each type of ANT with examples and practical ways to challenge them. Just click the image to download it and keep it nearby as a daily reminder to pause, reframe, and choose a more balanced thought. It’s a helpful companion for catching ANTs in real time.
Putting It All Together
The Four D’s aren’t about ignoring your feelings—they’re about slowing them down long enough for wisdom to catch up. When we Delay, Distract, De-stress, and De-catastrophize, we create just enough space to see our thoughts for what they are: visitors, not dictators. That space is where freedom—and flourishing—begin.
Ready to Put This Into Practice?
Reading about these tools is a great start, but catching and reframing Automatic Negative Thoughts in real time takes practice and support. That’s where Clarity Coaching and therapy can help turn awareness into lasting change.
Whether you’re seeking clarity, coaching, or therapy, small steps can lead to meaningful transformation. If you or your partner want help identifying and challenging the ANTs that hold you back, I’d love to support you. You can book a free 15-minute consultation through Flourishing Oak, or find me on Psychology Today.
Matt has also shared a short video on our YouTube channel | Flourishing Oak that walks through how to catch ANTs as they appear — and how even a small thought shift can open up space for calm, confidence, and connection.
Note: Matt Johnson offers insight-based coaching through Flourishing Oak and is not currently practicing as a licensed therapist in this setting. His writing draws on lived experience and professional training to support personal and relational growth. If you’re seeking therapy, you can explore Matt’s Psychology Today profile to learn more about his clinical work as an Associate Marriage and Family Therapist (142969).
